Borusa Joins A Rock Group
The Celestial Toymaker by Nicholas Hollands
The Doctor's age has been a bone of contention for some time. It peaks and troughs, presumably depending on whether he's trying to impress his companion of the time. But we can fairly safely say that The Doctor is old. Sticking a finger in the air (and assuming he thinks in Earth years) he's lived roughly ten times as long as the oldest human. Given his dangerous lifestyle, it's somewhat surprising that he's only on his eleventh incarnation, seeing as on average each one has had a 'good run' in human terms.
For all the Doctor's age, there are things out there that make his mere millennium-and-a-bit pale into insignificance. Gods, Immortals, Eternals, Guardians... Beings that saw the dawn of time and might continue to see its end. In some cases rather sooner than planned, if The Doctor didn't have his way.
What has always surprised me about the various flavours of Immortal in Doctor Who is how dim they are. To a being, they're painted with the same brush ... No imagination and, more fundamentally, a seeming inability to learn.
The Guardians at least have a day job. Protecting (or attempting to unravel) the causal nexus must fill a few hours between cups of tea, and gets you out of the house. And playing hide-and-seek with the segments of the Key to Time could be a bit of a hoot. I like to imagine them getting together every few hundred millennia for a quick taunt. “But I thought we declared the cess pits of Tersurus out of bounds!?”
So, the Guardians have their hands full. But most of the immortals seem desperate for something to fill their time, and are willing to put the humdrum occupants of the corporeal universe in peril in order to do so. Whether it's chillaxing at the local Psychic Circus, or cheating in an interplanetary yacht race, they're all reliant on the ephemerals to keep them occupied. And they all seem so angry.
You'd expect that a being in continual conflict with the species of the universe would have a bit more savvy when the Doctor eventually turns up. Do they really think he'd be defeated by a simple logic game, or (in an epic fail by the Black Guardian) by wearing a different colour hat.
For those that are interested, the Trilogic game is really easy. It can be broken down into four steps. Label your pegs 'Begin', 'End' and 'Storage'. Move all but the last piece from the 'begin' peg to the 'storage' peg. Move the last piece from the 'begin' peg to the 'end' peg. Finally, move the rest of the pieces from the 'storage' peg to the 'end' peg. Then you just dig down with the same four steps to solve steps 2 and 4. It's a great example of recursion. Thanks, Bidmead! Thidmead!
Rassilon probably had the right idea. Prior to getting dragged into the Time War (and having an epic shave into the bargain), he slept through immortality. He realised that to live forever was a curse, not a blessing. But I can't help thinking that being encased in carbonite is a bit more of a curse. Combined with how grouchy he was when he woke up, he still has to go on the 'angry' pile.
Of all of the immortals we've met, I think the one I actually feel sorry for is Fenric. OK. He was trying to engineer the fall of mankind through the forced use of biological weapons. But to trap him inside a bottle for 1600 years because he doesn't twig that the Doctor changed the rules of chess seemed a little... off. I'm surprised he didn't fire a letter off to his MP. It's one of the few times we see The Doctor actually cheat.
And finally, we come to the Toymaker himself. He at least doesn't seem to have the anger issues prevalent in the others, although he is still reliant on capturing beings with imagination in order to get his jollies. I'm surprised he hasn't come back for a rematch, for while there are games in the world, the Toymaker has power. What would the Doctor face this time? 5-dimensional Jenga? Kerplunk with bombs instead of marbles? Or maybe we'd see Clara held hostage at the top of a rickety structure of girders, while an enraged ape throws barrels at a climbing Time Lord... 'I'm sorry, Doctor. Your princess is in another castle'... (Just mention me in the credits please, Moffat.)
Of course, not all long lived beings go off the rails. The Face of Boe seemed fairly mellow when he finally met his end, and he'd been wired to a traffic control computer for years. But then we know who he was, and what he'd probably been up to beforehand. Plenty of memories to fall back on. Best not to speculate, really.
All in all, when you look at what immortality does to a person, the Time Lords had the right idea when they limited the number of bodily regenerations. Quite apart from preventing stagnation of the species, it stopped the individuals going gently off the rails. I dislike the idea of The Rani eventually roaming the vortex in her TARDIS, letting off pithy insults to the occupants of causality in alphabetical order. 'Cretin!'
For all the Doctor's age, there are things out there that make his mere millennium-and-a-bit pale into insignificance. Gods, Immortals, Eternals, Guardians... Beings that saw the dawn of time and might continue to see its end. In some cases rather sooner than planned, if The Doctor didn't have his way.
What has always surprised me about the various flavours of Immortal in Doctor Who is how dim they are. To a being, they're painted with the same brush ... No imagination and, more fundamentally, a seeming inability to learn.
The Guardians at least have a day job. Protecting (or attempting to unravel) the causal nexus must fill a few hours between cups of tea, and gets you out of the house. And playing hide-and-seek with the segments of the Key to Time could be a bit of a hoot. I like to imagine them getting together every few hundred millennia for a quick taunt. “But I thought we declared the cess pits of Tersurus out of bounds!?”
So, the Guardians have their hands full. But most of the immortals seem desperate for something to fill their time, and are willing to put the humdrum occupants of the corporeal universe in peril in order to do so. Whether it's chillaxing at the local Psychic Circus, or cheating in an interplanetary yacht race, they're all reliant on the ephemerals to keep them occupied. And they all seem so angry.
You'd expect that a being in continual conflict with the species of the universe would have a bit more savvy when the Doctor eventually turns up. Do they really think he'd be defeated by a simple logic game, or (in an epic fail by the Black Guardian) by wearing a different colour hat.
For those that are interested, the Trilogic game is really easy. It can be broken down into four steps. Label your pegs 'Begin', 'End' and 'Storage'. Move all but the last piece from the 'begin' peg to the 'storage' peg. Move the last piece from the 'begin' peg to the 'end' peg. Finally, move the rest of the pieces from the 'storage' peg to the 'end' peg. Then you just dig down with the same four steps to solve steps 2 and 4. It's a great example of recursion. Thanks, Bidmead! Thidmead!
Rassilon probably had the right idea. Prior to getting dragged into the Time War (and having an epic shave into the bargain), he slept through immortality. He realised that to live forever was a curse, not a blessing. But I can't help thinking that being encased in carbonite is a bit more of a curse. Combined with how grouchy he was when he woke up, he still has to go on the 'angry' pile.
Of all of the immortals we've met, I think the one I actually feel sorry for is Fenric. OK. He was trying to engineer the fall of mankind through the forced use of biological weapons. But to trap him inside a bottle for 1600 years because he doesn't twig that the Doctor changed the rules of chess seemed a little... off. I'm surprised he didn't fire a letter off to his MP. It's one of the few times we see The Doctor actually cheat.
And finally, we come to the Toymaker himself. He at least doesn't seem to have the anger issues prevalent in the others, although he is still reliant on capturing beings with imagination in order to get his jollies. I'm surprised he hasn't come back for a rematch, for while there are games in the world, the Toymaker has power. What would the Doctor face this time? 5-dimensional Jenga? Kerplunk with bombs instead of marbles? Or maybe we'd see Clara held hostage at the top of a rickety structure of girders, while an enraged ape throws barrels at a climbing Time Lord... 'I'm sorry, Doctor. Your princess is in another castle'... (Just mention me in the credits please, Moffat.)
Of course, not all long lived beings go off the rails. The Face of Boe seemed fairly mellow when he finally met his end, and he'd been wired to a traffic control computer for years. But then we know who he was, and what he'd probably been up to beforehand. Plenty of memories to fall back on. Best not to speculate, really.
All in all, when you look at what immortality does to a person, the Time Lords had the right idea when they limited the number of bodily regenerations. Quite apart from preventing stagnation of the species, it stopped the individuals going gently off the rails. I dislike the idea of The Rani eventually roaming the vortex in her TARDIS, letting off pithy insults to the occupants of causality in alphabetical order. 'Cretin!'